Ups then downs - literally

So today started out being a very good day. Appetite is still UP. Ric is UP another pound! He had his 2nd Avastin treatment this round and was feeling good. His recent craving has been for hamburgers (not sure why) so we went to Dick's on Broadway for burgers and fries. Then we decided to stop by Michael's in Issaquah to buy some items to send to some of our little friends in Nicaragua (others are heading down next week). As Ric was getting out of the car and stepped up on the curb, his knee buckled and he fell. Usually he waits for me to come around to help him when getting out of the car but this time he did not. Maybe because he was feeling so good. Unfortunately he bruised his left ribs and ended up with a big bump on the left side of his forehead. His head hit the concrete so hard that I heard a crack and I was in total fear as I ran over to him. He didn't lose conciousness and actually was extremely mad at himself for not being able to right himself when he started to fall. It was pouring down rain at the time and he was getting soaked so I was able to get a worker at Michael's to help me get him back in the car. Called 911 so the EFR crew was there in no time. All his vitals were fine but we took him to Swedish/Issy ER. They took xray of his ribs - no fractures and because of him being treated with Avastin they had to do a CT scan to make sure there was no bleeding in his brain. Fortunately no issues - Thank God! But he is in alot of pain with his bruised ribs. Of course all of this really frustrated him as he was having such a good day. So for now please pray for quick healing of his bruised ribs and the bump on his head and that there will be no issues from this little setback.

Things are good

Ric continues to amaze me. Just last week he was needing a walker to get around as he was pretty weak due to the dehydration due to the chemo side effects and the additional weight loss. On Tuesday when we had to go to his Dr appt he decided he didn't need it and has not used it since. Our San Diego trip was really needed by both of us. We had a fabulous time - got to see lots of good friends and soaked in lots of sunshine. It really lifted us both up. Dr. appt went well. He's up one pound! Although that does not seem like a big deal it is since most every appt since August he has dropped some weight. Everyone at the Doc's office commented on how much better Ric is doing since earlier in the month. For now we are focusing on getting Ric to gain some more weight. If he keeps eating like he is that shouldn't be a problem. He'll be continuing the treatments every two weeks. Next one is next Tuesday.

It's Thursday

• Ric started back on Avastin treatments on Tuesday. He will do them every two weeks with no chemo for the time being. We are very happy about the no chemo as that just totally trashed him. He also had to have two more bags of saline during his Avastin treatment on Tuesday. Still dehydrated but getting better. His appetite has picked back up without meds. He already has to take so many meds that he did not want to add more to it. I'm okay with that as long as his appetite keeps up. He's wayyyy too skinny for me. This week has been an encouragement with how he feels. Hoping that he's got the worst of the chemo side effects behind him. The mouth sores are gone so thanks for your prayers for that!
• We were originally hoping to be back at work this week but with the issues over the last few weeks it's back up in the air again. I know at some point I am going to have to return to work. I have been sooooo blessed by my coworkers donating vacation time to me so that I could stay home with Ric. You all do not realize how much I appreciate that. The people I work with are the most wonderful caring people. They have been so supportive in so many ways. We've always loved working at MacMiller but with this situation it has really pointed out what a great company it is because of the people there. Can't say thanks enough. We both really miss being there every day.
• We also have the most awesome neighbors - they have done so much for us also. Even though I know that they think it's just little things - those little things become a really big deal when you already have so much on your plate.
• It's such a beautiful but chilly day today. We are looking forward to a short walk outside after it warms up a bit more.
• We are excited as we are going to take a little trip for a long weekend to visit some friends in California. Friends (former neighbors) are lending us their condo in San Diego so we can go enjoy some sunshine (although it might rain a little while there). Once again so very blessed by those we love.
• I am a very optimistic person and always try to find the best in everyone and everything. This battle that Ric is fighting is an extremely difficult battle and a very serious battle. The fact that he is still alive and doing as well as he is doing is a miracle in itself. I am very aware of the fact that at any point in time he could be taken from me. I will continue to be optimistic and continue to pray for the miracles needed for my husband to be with me as long as God will allow it. I ask for you to pray with me for that. I live this reality every day and thank God every morning when I wake up and my husband is still here with me. Do you do that with your loved ones? If you don't you need to consider doing it as none of us are promised tomorrow. Love them like they deserve to be loved.
• My faith gives me the strength I need every day. I know that Ric will be healed either here on earth or in heaven and that since we both have been saved this life is not all there is. Don't know how people who have no hope that there is something more than this life can ever go through anything such as this. God prepared us to be ready for this challenge - we can see that as we look back on our lives. Watching Ric go through this battle just amazes me as he never complains, never says why me or anything like that. He knows that there is a purpose in all of this whether it is for us or maybe for you.
• Thanks again for all your love, support & prayers. We are so very blessed by all of you!

Next Steps

I know that you all have been waiting to hear what we found out. Sorry I should have told you that our appt wasn't until 3:30pm today. The Doc's office has just implemented a new registration/billing software program this week so we had to start from square one in filling out paperwork & getting re-registered. The new software didn't allow them the ability to automatically transfer information from the old software - hmmmm ..... Ric has to get blood drawn each time he gets an infusion or sees the Doc. So after re-registration we had to go to the lab. Sorry having fun just letting you sit on the edge of your chair waiting to hear what we found out :) Ok so Doc said and showed us that there has been significant improvement in both the brain and the liver. Right now because of the recent chemo side effects (mainly diarrhea & mouth sores) Ric is dehydrated & malnourished - he lost more weight in the last couple weeks. So the plan of attack is for him to get some additional hydration therapy tomorrow, medication to help increase his appetite, then back to Doc next week to check hydration. If hydration level is where Doc wants to see it next week, Ric will resume Avastin treatments every two weeks - no chemo. Ric will see the Doc every two weeks for now. We are very happy with this news. We knew that there was improvement because the swelling in Ric's liver had totally gone away. And we knew that brain-wise he is good. It's just that you really need to hear what you think you know. And this was just after 6 treatments so we hope & pray for even more improvement with additional treatments. This does not mean Ric is out of the woods though. We need to get his hydration back on track and he really needs to put on weight. We expect that the two meds they are putting him on will help with the appetite. Also even though he won't be doing chemo this round - as Doc thought it would do him more harm than good - the Avastin has it's own potential side effects. So lots of prayers for the last few mouth sores to be gone, hydration levels to return to normal, for appetite increase & good weight gain over the next few weeks, for protection from side effects and continued tumor reduction. God has truly blessed us - not only with this positive news today but with all of you - your love, support & prayers.

Where does the ride go from here?

Tomorrow is a big day I guess. We will find out what the CT scan & MRI are showing as of last week. I say I guess because I'm not really sure what it will all mean. We've been carried by God's grace, strength & miracles so far and I'm not sure that will change irregardless of what these show. We are praying for something positive but yet preparing ourselves in case it isn't. That's why my title is "Where does the ride go from here?" These last couple weeks have been really hard on Ric. The mouth sores returned so he's had a hard time eating & talking. They are much better today and he ate alot more than he has for awhile. He tells me that once they are fully gone then he's eating everything in sight! He's really wiped out most of the time but that apparently is called chemo fatigue. Today was a much better day than it has been for awhile so I am hoping that we are starting to move past the horrible chemo effects. Again I can't imagine if he was doing a more toxic higher dosage chemo as this has been a nightmare. My husband is one of the strongest people I know and he does not complain at all. I know that I could not be as nice as he has been while going through this. Oh he has snapped at me but only because I deserved it as I was hounding him to do something. But most of the time that was me becoming fearful that he needed to do something or he was going to get worse. It took my very wonderful daughter Holly to put me back into perspective that Ric needed to be the one to do what was needed and that I could not force him to do those things. Of course that would mean I would totally have to relinquish any form of control that I thought I had and since I'm a control freak (less than I used to be really) it was very hard for me to do that. I still struggle with it at times. But it's more that I cannot imagine my life without him and that totally freaks me out. I was able to get some Me time these past few days thanks to my brother Rusty. I'm sure Ric was thankful too! Also heard good news this morning about my sister Becky - her lymph nodes and cancer markers are clear - praise God about that! So asking for prayers for some positive news tomorrow, the mouth sores to GO AWAY, for Ric to continuing gaining strength each day and for peace & comfort for us both.

It's Friday

Yesterday was a beautiful day here in the Pacific NW but now the rain has started! Ric had his CT scan & MRI yesterday afternoon. Now we just get to wait until next Thursday to find out what's going on inside of him. He's been having some low energy days lately - doing alot of sleeping & having to use the walker to get around as he's a little unstable. His appetite comes & goes so I try to take advantage when it's good to get him to munch out as much as possible. Being a fulltime caregiver is a tough job. I never really wanted to be a nurse :) but it's where I am supposed to be right now. Ric has the toughest job though in fighting this crappy disease! So not too much to talk about. Just continue praying for Ric's healing - that he would continue to gain his strength back as that is really frustrating him right now.

For Today

So the weekend was pretty much non-eventful. Hung out at the house - Ric mostly slept especially through the football games :) He had a doctors appt Monday morning - blood work and review of where his electrolytes are at after the weekend. Labs were improved especially white blood cell count and electrolytes not quite where they wanted them but the diarrhea was still an issue. Plenty of Gatorade and a prescription for something a bit stronger than Imodium was what was in the works. So at this time it seems that the diarrhea is gone - yeah! We had a nice low key birthday dinner last night at The Spaghetti Factory for Ric. He received lots of birthday wishes although I know that he would have loved to be celebrating his birthday much differently! This afternoon he's just sitting in his chair next to the window soaking in the sunshine. This Thursday he will be getting the CT scan & MRI to see where things are at. The bummer is that we have to wait till next Thursday to see the doc to review the results and what's next on the agenda. Guess we will have to keep ourselves busy over the next week so we aren't going crazy waiting.......right now it's just one day at a time. :)